Self Mutilation

Self Mutilation = Salvation?

I like pain. Phyiscal Pain. It's much more bearable than Emotional Pain. Having de physical pain will elevate my heart pain. Stupid.

Back to my old lifestyle. Doing the stress releasing thing. The way i like it. Physical pain is good. At least it distracts u from de heart pain.

Been spending money like no one business. Soon-to-be bankrupt.

I didnt nOe tat we are in a relationship for 1.5 weeks. Were we? Funny.

Nonsensical. Dumb. Idiotic. Dumd. Played out. As always. I must.not.be.so.stupid.anymore. Hope so.

IgnOre my ranting. Effect of eating no dinner. Drinking 1.5 glass of hoegarden. 1 pint. Plus 300ml of Sake. No dinner = diet = slim = no more being fooled.
Sad. Dying. Help.